New Blog, New House
This is a big moment for me. I’ve been daydreaming about this house and this blog for so long now. It’s been six months since I left my job to be a full-time mom. It was terrifying making the transition, but ultimately it all worked out in the end. I’m hoping that it will be the same case this time around too.
I’ve often believed that “if you’re afraid to do something, it only means that you must.” I’m sure I got that from Emerson or Thoreau, because around the time I was making that my philosophy I was obsessed with the transcendentalist movement. So much about that time period (early 1800’s America) and its writers inspire me. They weren’t afraid of innovation and “going against the grain” so to speak. Some of the greatest works of literature were born from that period and much of it is still relevant today.
Now, I won’t be so bold as to suggest that I am in any way comparable to the great authors of the past. However, I do feel that in some way I am channeling their spirit as I venture out into the great unknown to start this blog and live in a new house, new city. For the past year my husband and I have felt the call to do something different with our lives. There were so many late night discussions, arguments, and bouts of excitement as we neared some semblance of a course of action for our life. But there was also so much fear. We had this little tiny human, our son, who was and is so completely dependent upon us. We were also loaded with student and credit card debt and an old 1950’s fixer-upper house that was falling apart.
When we decided to change our life, all signs pointed to "this is a horrible idea." It absolutely didn't make sense for me to quit my job when I did. We really needed the two incomes, but I was burnt out physically and emotionally from working, taking care of Ezra, and taking care of my father who has dementia. So I left and now I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. It also didn't make sense for us to sell our house. It was really old and in need of love. Despite putting some money into redoing the kitchen, electrical, and roof, it still needed new siding, landscaping, bathroom, and flooring. So we decided to cut our loses. Surprisingly, we ended up selling for a full price offer, above what we expected. With the profit, we were able to pay off student debt and have enough left over for a down payment on a new place. Now we are about to make the most absurd decision yet. Not only are we buying a new house, but we are also building it from scratch.
Deep down we knew that this was the best decision for our family and as soon as we saw a slight chance that it could be possible we took action. A lot of the best decisions in David and I's relationship have been a result of closing our eyes, taking a deep breath, and then jumping into the unknown together. This is just another one of those moments.
Just as I believe that fear is call to something greater, I also believe in the power faith. If you answer the call to your deepest passions the universe will answer back with a resounding "yes." Doors you thought closed or never even new existed will open to possibilities and experiences that only serve to enrich your life.
There is no way to know what the future will hold. Things that look good on paper often never come to fruition and ideas that seem so radical or impossible can turn out to be the best decision you ever made. A lot of dissatisfaction and problems in our life have come as a result of relying on the former. Some of the happiest moments of our marriage are a result of the latter. We spent the beginning of 2016 struggling by trying to do “the right thing.” Now we are doing what's right for us.
As of right now, our house is set to be ready by the end of November. This blog will serve as a way to digest and share our experiences through this time of transition and beyond. I'm scared to death that this blog will be revealing too much of our life. At the same time, there is also so much I want to share and so many ideas that I crave to write about. So here it goes, my deep breath, and we shall see what happens.