This is a big moment for me. I’ve been daydreaming about this house and this blog for so long now. It’s been six months since I left my job to be a full-time mom. It was terrifying making the transition, but ultimately it all worked out in the end. I’m hoping that it will be the same case this time around.
I’ve often believed that “if you’re afraid to do something, it only means that you must.” I’m sure I got that from Emerson or Thoreau, because around the time I was making that my philosophy I was obsessed with the transcendentalist movement. So much about that time period (early 1800’s America) and its writers inspire me. They weren’t afraid of innovation and “going against the grain” so to speak. Some of the greatest works of literature were born from that period and much of it is still relevant today.
Now, I won’t be so bold as to suggest that I am in any way comparable to the great authors of the past. However, I do feel that in some way I am channeling their spirit as I venture out into the great unknown to start this blog and live in a new house, new city. For the past year my husband and I have felt the call to do something different with our lives. There were so many late night discussions, arguments, bouts of excitement as we neared some semblance of a course of action for our life. But there was also so much fear. We had this little tiny human, our son, who was and is so completely dependent upon us. We were also loaded with student and credit card debt, an old 1950’s fixer-upper house that was falling apart, and two large dogs emotionally abandoned in our backyard as a carryover from our naive early 20’s.
There is no way to know what the future will hold. Things that look good on paper often never come to fruition and ideas that seem so radical or impossible can turn out to be the best decision you ever made. A lot of the dissatisfaction and problems with our life came as a result of the former. Some of the happiest moments of our marriage were a result of the latter. What I can say is that we spent the beginning of 2016 struggling by trying to do “the right thing.”